


I Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

by pleaseactsurprisedxx



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleaseactsurprisedxx/pseuds/pleaseactsurprisedxx
Summary: Beca and Chloe haven't talked much since the USO tour. Chloe gets a ticket to a private acoustic concert of Beca’s in LA since the brunette has been ignoring her calls.
Relationships: Chloe Beale & Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 102





	I Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> First song lyrics used is from “Alrighty Aphrodite” by Peach Pit and the second batch is from “Wish You Were Gay” by Billie Eilish, which the title and story overall, is inspired from. 
> 
> Thanks to 22_Ti and Aubreyposenesquire for the beta work on this.

If you would have told Chloe Beale that the woman she had sung with in the shower would be the reason her heart is aching all these years later, she never would have believed you. 

Chloe groans her frustration, tossing her phone on the coffee table. “I can’t believe she actually hit the shady button...again. What did I do, Bree?” 

“Chloe, we’ve been over this,” Aubrey sighs, still flipping through her Better Homes & Garden magazine. 

After the USO tour, Chloe moved back to Georgia to rent a house with Aubrey. It was after Beca left from the tour the night of her performance and packed her belongings without even so much as a goodbye. 

Beca has kept contact with the other Bellas and will sometimes respond in the group chat. But Chloe has barely spoken to Beca since the USO tour. It’s been five months. At first, she was getting clipped responses, but the past three months have been nothing. Nada. Completely ghosted. It has left Chloe gutted. She lost her best friend, and then on top of it? And she hasn’t even gotten a reason why.

“Yeah, how everyone knows something you have all sworn not to tell me. So, not only have I lost Beca, I feel like everyone else I’m close to is keeping some huge secret,” Chloe says, frustration and hurt lacing her tone. 

“Think back on the seven years you have known Beca, and you can’t think of something you may have missed?” Aubrey asks, almost bored with the conversation. Her eyes never leave the magazine. 

“What could I have missed?”

Aubrey’s eyes snap to her friends. “Chlo, I love you, but stop being so dense,” Aubrey says with a huff as she tosses the magazine on the table.

“Excuse me?” Shock evident on the redhead’s face. 

“C’mon, Chloe, think about Beca? She is snarky, closed off, hates being touched, hates peo—“

Chloe interrupts, crossing her arms, “Get to your point, Aubrey.” 

“Think how she is with you, Chlo. She didn’t let anybody get close like you.” 

Aubrey watches her friend's face change from irritated, to thoughtful, to shocked. Aubrey could almost hear glass breaking as all the pieces clicked together in her mind. 

“You mean?”

“Yep,” Aubrey replies, harshly popping the p at the end. 

“I had given up on anything happening between us. I asked her about experimenting and she called me weird and turned around at the retreat. I was working my way up to telling her my feelings but—”

“She had Jesse. She had feelings then, but you know how Beca feels about that situation with her parents.” 

Chloe sits in silence, thinking back over the past. Their intimate conversations where they bared their souls to one another. Fleeting glances and constant touches that left the redhead feeling grounded. The fact that even in a huge crowd, Beca’s eyes always seem to find hers. 

“Y'all spent almost three years cuddled up on a pull out, acting like a poor married couple,” Aubrey broke the silence. 

“But…I just thought she was straight.”

Aubrey chortles but the glare she receives from Chloe makes her stop. “ “She was going to come out to you and finally tell you to the night of the performance.” Aubrey stands up and walks to a bureau drawer as she continues, “Look, I’m tired of all the back and forth— between the midget not knowing how to communicate and you being absolutely oblivious—“

“How do you even know all this?” Chloe asks with an attitude, cutting the blonde off. 

“For one, I have eyes. For two, we talked more during y’all’s time in New York than you realize. For some reason, she confided in me, and she trusted me, so I couldn’t break that. And three, she sang one of the gayest songs that night, Chlo, and that’s saying something from an Abba fan.” 

Chloe stands and starts to pace, “So, why didn’t she tell me?”

“Probably because she watched you drool and act like a dumb schoolgirl over the dull soldier boy for weeks.”

“Oh my god,” Chloe exclaims.

“And when she went to find you, she found you—“

“Kissing Chicago,” Chloe interrupts, sitting back down with her face in her hands. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have—I wouldn't have kissed him. Nothing happened more between us anyways. God, he was dull!” Chloe groans and lifts her head to look at her friend. “How do I fix this?”

Aubrey looks on with sympathy, “I don’t really know, and she would kill me if she knew I was doing this, but here. Here is your chance.” Aubrey hands Chloe a silver ticket and plane ticket. “It’s to her sold out acoustic set she has scheduled in LA next week and a plane ticket to get there.” 

* * *

Chloe walks nervously on black stilettos as she pulls at her incredibly tight, short dress. It is sleeveless and the neckline scoops low to show more than modest cleavage. The color is a dark navy blue, and it makes her blues eyes pop even more than usual. Her auburn hair falls in curls around her face. Her heart thumps in her chest, and her stomach lurches like it is trying to climb her ribs like a jungle gym with each step she takes to the club entrance. She shakily hands over her ticket to a burly tattooed man waiting at the door of the small night club. 

She can already hear Beca’s soprano voice lilt through the door. She has come late on purpose. She didn’t want Beca to see her before the lights dimmed and the show started. This was an intimate acoustic set, only 40 tickets sold, so there wasn’t a huge crowd to hide behind. 

_ Take a seat back in your clam shell. _

_ If the oceans not enough, nor am I. _

_ Rollin' in, I feel a dark swell, _

_ Crawling up the skin of my spine. _

_ If I'd known you sold on maybe, _

_ I'd a let you waste another guy, _

_ Well, alrighty Aphrodite, _

_ Go whip that red for other eyes. _

This song is Beca’s first released single, which came out about a month after she left; Chloe had heard it on the radio several times, but hearing it with just an acoustic guitar backing her voice made the song hit completely different. Beca’s crooning sends shivers down Chloe's spine as she walks in, just like it always has since that first time in the shower. It was that encounter that even made Chloe entertain the idea of being with a woman for the first time. Yes, Beca is gorgeous, so of course, that sparked interest, but it was her voice that actually captivated Chloe. It started a four year fixation on the brunette; that she eventually gave up on because she was convinced that Beca could never return those types of feelings or interests, especially after their awkward encounter at the lodge. 

Chloe shirks to the back of the room towards the bar, passing tables and standing patrons, before she chances to glance at Beca on stage. It was almost completely dark in the room, with the exception of the spotlight shining on the woman, and dull shine above the bar. 

Her long hair is pulled back with her bangs falling in her face. Her eyes almost glow with her trademark dark eye makeup. She has on a thin long sleeve turtleneck with tight black ripped jeans tucked into grey boots. A silver chain and earrings glint in the light. She is on a stool with a black guitar in her hands. Black painted fingernails expertly move across the frets. Chloe chokes down a gasp at all the feelings for the woman rushing back. She has kept them locked up in a box for so long. 

She orders a Long Island iced tea to pour down her dry throat and to help quell her nerves. 

Beca’s song comes to a stop and the audience applauds. “Thanks, guys,” Beca says into the mic. “I am uh-Beca Mitchell, but you probably know that already,” she chuckles nervously, and the crowd laughs with her. Chloe smiles at the fact that Beca is still even now, her same awkward self. Chloe signals for another drink, and it is quickly slid to her. She is the only one sitting here. Everyone else is occupying a table or standing near the side of the stage.

“So, thanks for coming. I’ve been stoked about this set. Don’t know why I said stoked. Not usually the type to say stoked. Anyways, I have a new song to share with you guys to make up for how lame I actually am when speaking. But I’m going to play a couple more that you may recognize first.” Laughs and cheers fill the room. 

She plays a few more songs, another original and a couple of covers, and Chloe studies her the entire time. Beca takes a drink of water and asks, “So, who wants to hear a brand new, never been listened to, original?” The small crowd gets unbelievably loud. 

Beca chuckles again, too close to the mic. “Okay, here goes nothing. This is for anyone who has experienced unrequited love. Hope you all enjoy.” Chloe's heart beats harder than she feels like is medically possible as Beca’s fingers start expertly strumming the guitar in her hands. She starts and her voice is hauntingly beautiful. 

_ “Baby, I don't feel so good",  _

_ Six words you never understood. _

_ "I'll never let you go”, five words you'll never say.  _

_ I laugh along like nothing's wrong,  _

_ four days has never felt so long. _

_ If three's a crowd and two was us,  _

_ one slipped away.  _

Chloe’s skin breaks out in goosebumps. And she finds it impossible to take her eyes off Beca. She throws back her drink before finding herself being pulled from her barstool and walking towards the stage.

_ I just wanna make you feel okay, _

_ But all you do is look the other way. _

_ I can't tell you how much I wish  _

_ I didn't wanna stay. _

_ I just kinda wish you were gay. _

The spot lot dims on Beca before disappearing altogether before soft blue lights shine down on her from above. 

_ Is there a reason we're not through? _

_ Is there a 12-step just for you? _

_ Our conversation's all in blue. _

_ 11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey). _

_ Ten fingers tearin' out my hair. _

_ Nine times, you never made it there. _

_ I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away. _

Chloe sucks in a deep breath as Beca’s words and voice and her own memories swirl around her. She knows her phone has a string of unanswered messages on their text stream. 

_ How am I supposed to make you feel okay? _

_ When all you do is walk the other way? _

_ I can't tell you how much, _

_ I wish I didn't wanna stay. _

_ I just kinda wish you were gay. _

Chloe stands in dumb shock as she gets as close as she can to the stage. She hates Beca thinks she walked away from her. She just didn’t  _ know.  _ At the last line, Beca’s steel blue eyes meet hers. Somehow, focusing on her in a room full of people. Surprise flashes across the brunette’s face for only a brief moment, before she recovers. Her dark eyes bore into Chloe as she completes the next verse. It makes Chloe feel heavy. Her stomach creeping up into her throat. Her face burns in a blush and fire burns in her veins as more goosebumps break across her bare skin. 

_ To spare my pride, _

_ To give your lack of interest, an explanation, _

_ Don't say I'm not your type. _

_ Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation. _

_ I'm so selfish! _

_ But you make me feel helpless, yeah! _

_ And I can't stand another day! _

_ Stand another day! _

Beca finally moves her eyes to focus on something else as she finishes the song. Chloe feels like she can breathe again, but the fire burning her skin doesn’t go away. Cheers fill the room and Beca has the cheesiest smile on her face. The type Chloe only ever got to witness when Beca is performing. She thanks the audience one more time before throwing her fist in the air and turning to walk off stage. Chloe tries to chase after her but is stopped by a bald man, even bigger than the one who took her ticket. 

“Beca!” Chloe screams. 

And somehow over all the yells of encores, Beca hears  _ her _ voice in the crowd. Beca turns around and makes eye contact for a minute. “Beca! Please!” The woman turns back around and takes a step before her shoulders slump. She pauses as if contemplating what to do and eventually turns back around and steps towards the side of the stage where Chloe was being blocked by the guard.

“She is okay, Tito,” Beca screams over the audience.

“Okay, Boss.” He replies before stepping out of the way and helping Chloe up the stairs. 

“Thanks, Tito,” Chloe yells, before following Beca to the backstage area. A door closes behind them sealing off the still going applause, leaving the pair in silence. 

Beca knits her eyebrows, “What are you doing here, Chlo?”

“I—um, I missed you, and it’s not like you answer or return my phone calls anymore.”

Beca chokes back a sob, “I’ve missed you so much, but you don’t understand.”

“Becs—-“

“It hurts too much. I was going to explain because I thought...What I thought was stupid. You kissed Chicago, and that’s great for you, but I just can’t spend any more of my life seeing you kiss other people.”

“Becs—“

“Chloe, I get it. Okay. You don’t feel the same way. Please don’t break my heart more by saying it out loud.” 

Chloe grabs Beca’s wrists and pulls her into her body, immediately clashing their lips together. It’s slow and awkward at first, but Chloe’s perfectly manicured fingers wrap around the brunette’s neck. Beca’s hands hesitantly thread through red hair, and it makes Chloe deepen the kiss, sucking Beca’s tongue into her anticipating mouth. 

They fall into a rhythm, before Beca pulls free, out of breath. “Chloe, wait.” Beca steps back, out of Chloe’s reach. “I can’t do this...I can’t be an experiment,” she says in a hurt voice while her eyes avoid the redhead’s. Beca’s black fingernails thump on her thighs slowly, a nervous habit that she has always had. 

“What I said in the tent was stupid. I never just wanted to experiment with you.”

Beca takes a deep breath, “Okay, but do you even like girls, Chloe?”

“I—-uh, I don’t know.”

“Well, gee, thanks for coming all this way to clear that up,” Beca responds bitterly and tries to walk away. Chloe can see walls reappearing between them, and she reaches out to grab the brunette’s shoulder. 

“No! Beca, damn it, listen to me!” Beca stops walking but doesn’t turn around while Chloe continues, “You were with Jesse for almost four years, what was I supposed to think? I didn’t even know  _ you _ liked girls, let alone thought you returned my very confusing feelings.”

“Well, it took me time to admit it, but yes, super gay,” Beca mumbles. She turns around slowly; her eyes snapping to Chloe’s, “Wait! Feelings?” 

Chloe sighs and squeezes her shoulder from where she reached out to Beca, but Beca shakes off her touch and puts a few paces between them. Chloe slumps her shoulders in defeat and fidgets with the hem of her dress while she speaks. “Look, I’m not sure of my sexuality at all, but I’m attracted to you. Have been since the first time I laid eyes on you. I don’t know a lot of things, but I know I’ve wanted to kiss you since I invaded your shower. I know I have romantic feelings for you—-who just happens to be a woman. I know that I, Chloe, love you, Beca, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Beca blinks in shock. Letting the other woman’s words register in her mind. She is dead quiet for long enough to make the situation even more tense, before she breathes out barely a whisper, “You do?”

“Yes, I just gave up after college, because you were still with Jesse, and you reacted to that experiment comment so poorly that I just couldn’t fathom a world where you actually liked me back that way.” 

“I was just so confused back then. Jesse—-the stuff with Kommisar, and my mixed feelings I had for you; add that to the fact, we were in a cramped tent, and you always smell so fucking good that it makes my head spin—-I didn’t know what to do or how to react.” 

“Do you know now?” Chloe asks tentatively. 

Beca clears the distance between their bodies and leans forward to connect their lips back together in a heated kiss. This time their lips slot together perfectly, and the fire Chloe has been feeling, burns on every surface of her body. Her stomach is filled with butterflies instead of a lurching feeling. Her head feels dizzy with Beca’s kisses, her smell, her touches, and her soft moans making Chloe’s lips vibrate. 

Beca is the first to pull away again, but this time she doesn’t put distance between their bodies, instead, she presses their foreheads together. “Please don’t go down this road with me unless you are sure you want it,” Beca’s words ghost across her mouth.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything before,” Chloe responds.

“I love you, too, Chlo. I think I always have.”

At that moment, staff members pour through the door, breaking the bubble they found themselves in. Beca jumps back, creating distance between them again. 

“Can we go somewhere more private to talk about this?” Chloe asks nervously. 

Beca gives an imperceptible nod, before pecking her lips softly once more, and threading their fingers together to lead Chloe towards a side exit. For the first time in the redhead’s life, she isn’t scared of the change to come. 


End file.
